Pandemic has no doubt caused unbearable damages to the most advanced human beings of all time. Indeed, the damages are not limited to the physical level only. It has affected our psychology as well. The wall never visible to us behind the Television in normal days has somehow become the source of fresh ideas to us in our living rooms. Most boring spaces are now the most amazing places for us. The utensils washed bi-monthly earlier are washed now every day or many times post every meal.
We have upgraded ourselves. We did indeed or we are used to it does not makes much difference. Being alone, aloofness, loneliness etc. does not bother us anymore. We knew it since the beginning the problem lies in us or with us. This pandemic has slapped us to accept our faults. Some of us learned to manage time while others are still toddlers and growing.
Amid all chaos one character that remains unchanged is of a Mother. Yes, mother a simple word known as Anne in Turkish, Ma in Hindi, Ammi in spoken Urdu, Mom in spoken English and so on. Growing up in patriarchal society we never realised the role a mother plays in our lives. You might disagree with me on patriarchy that’s fine. I may disagree with you about the roles and character of a Mother. Still, there remains hundreds of reason for us to agree on the central role of a Mother within a family.
Mother is a connection that binds us together as a family. She is the creature nearest to God if you believe in God. If you don’t she is the source of energy and happiness in human beings with different roles like a caretaker. She is an economist or a banker helping us to manage the resources. She is the manager of our activities. She is a teacher for our very first life lessons. She is a wonderful honest actor being a mother, sister, daughter, wife and even grand and great-grandmother at several places. I mean just compare yourself to the roles this single human being is constantly playing around us.
This pandemic I reconsidered and realised the importance of being a mother. Wait, I did not produce a baby. No, it is impossible for me being a proud single young boy. Well, you can remove proud if you want without any further giggles. I realised the importance of being a mother working from home. For, the first five months of the lockdown I seriously failed to realise the value day and night holds in our life. My alarms went off as per my classes. Nights were days and days were ultimately nights. Breakfast shifted from early mornings to early nights and dinner-lunch together was confused for their statuses. Just one moment during these horrifying days to balance me was the thought of my mother. I travelled back to my days in childhood. I realised every single moment of joy was undone without the mother in my life. As soon as I tried to remove the mother from the equation of my life any point in time it was a mess. My life was a mess resembling my routine in the lockdown.
This write-up is nothing but a tiniest of efforts from a careless son like me to his superhero mother and all mothers in general. I try and try hard right now to recall the earliest memory I have with my mother. I recall:
“A fine Sunday morning. I am standing in the veranda of our small single-story house. I might be of three-four years. Ammi (a word for mother in spoken Urdu) is giving me a face-wash with her own hands. She washes my eyes and compares them to the beauty of diamonds. She washes my cheeks and feels proud. She washes my face and calls me a king. I am just smiling at her words and somewhere my mind is noting everything. She helps me wear a greenish-black cotton shirt and half pants. She combs my hair while I see tears of happiness in her eyes. I am then ready to go out. Before I leave to play she says take care of yourself babu (son), you are my life and you shine like a sun. I run outside to enjoy the glorious years of my childhood leaving behind my emotional mother.”
Twenty years have passed since then my mother is still unaltered. She sees the same version of me every time I talk to her. She is confident more in me than herself. It took me twenty-three odd years and a pandemic just to understand this brief moment of her affection. Who knows what else lies with her. Who knows what she holds in her kingdom of motherhood. No son can ever interpret it. What I can do best is to re-schedule my time-table this pandemic and be as nearer to her as possible in a tiny way. I will try it.
I love you Ammi. I love you since the day you gave me birth and I am proud of you for being my mother. I maybe your careless son but you are my perfect mother.
What is the first memory that comes to your mind when thinking of your mother? Feel it and say thank you.